Dates: 11 April to 10 October 2024, 1st or 2nd Thursday of the month, 7.30-8.30pm
Location: Online via Zoom
The book
Carl McColman blogs on spirituality, contemplation and many other topics. He is one of the hosts of the Encountering Silence podcast, wherever you get podcasts.
In Befriending Silence, “Carl McColman introduces Cistercian spirituality as the hidden jewel of the Church, presenting a surprisingly contemporary path grounded in monastic tradition. McColman draws on his experience as a lay Cistercian to provide insight into the relevance of the tradition to contemporary issues and spiritual practice. He explains how silence, simplicity, stability, stewardship of the earth, contemplation, ongoing conversion, and devotion to Mary combine to offer a rich and unique path to discipleship and intimacy with God.”
Overview
For those who had not joined a Slow Book Group before, I put together some thoughts and suggestions for slow reading, explaining that the Group’s purpose is not about getting through as many books as possible, but to gain from them a deeper understanding of our walk with God and through that to deepen our own prayer lives and relationships with God.
As usual, we notified the preceding group of the next book group a little in advance, and then publicised it to the wider Cathedral community via the monthly news and weekly sheet.
The co-leaders met briefly in advance of each session to go over the readings and plan the session content. Then we emailed the group members a week ahead with a reminder of the text, some questions to consider while reading, and the Zoom details.
The sessions lasted about an hour. They varied in structure, with discussion in the whole group and break-out groups of 3/4, followed by a guided meditation of about 15 minutes. We started each session with a poem or short prayer, and closed with any notices, another poem or prayer and the grace. On occasion we started with the meditation, in which case we shared 3 minutes of silence before closing.
We encouraged participants to continue to sit with the text for a few more days, allowing what had been shared in the group to sink in, before turning to the next month’s text. Then after one week, we followed up each session with an email reminder of some of what we shared and/or my further thoughts, and information about the next month.
April 2024
Read: Introduction and Chapter 1 on Charism
Questions from pages 10 and 20 of the book to mull over while reading:
- “Whom do you seek?” If you could pick three or four words to describe your relationship with God, what would they be?
- Can you name some of God’s blessings or gifts at work in your life?* These could be simple or exceptional, material or spiritual in nature.
- Think of two or three things you do to nourish your soul. How do you think of these things – as spiritual practices?
* Note that this is a closed question, with a Yes or No answer that closes down further enquiry. McColman was guilty of this a lot in the book. We reframed it in the session to make it more open.
Structure
Gathering prayer-poem
Short introduction to the book
Sharing in the large group of responses to the suggestions:
- Name one of God’s blessings or gifts at work in your life. These could be simple or exceptional, material or spiritual in nature.
- Name one of the two or three things you do to nourish your soul. How do you think of these things – as spiritual practices?
Break-out groups for more in-depth reflection on the questions “Whom do you seek?” If you could pick three or four words to describe your relationship with God, what would they be?
15-minute guided meditation ‘Shining like the sun’ based on a quote from p14 and the Compassion Meditation practice from the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley.
Closing prayer and Grace
Follow-up material
Gathering prayer-poem – “The Calling”, by Sarah Rowland Jones
I’m afraid, she said,
afraid that if I really listen
to whatever God might say
he’ll tell me
to go to China
as a missionary.
But I’m nearly seventy,
and my husband has Parkinson’s.
And what about my grandson
with learning difficulties
and the neighbour’s shopping?In my unguarded moments
the persistent whisper comes:
no word of China,
just the seducer’s unceasing summons
to elope
here
now
without moving an inch.
Closing prayer, Numbers 6.24-26:
The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.
Amen.
Some quotes that came up during our small group
- St Irenaeus: “The glory of God is a person fully alive, but the life of each person is the vision of God.”
- Paul Tillich saw God as “the ground of our being”
- The beautiful hymn “There’s a wideness in God’s mercy”
Chapter 1 recalled this short reflection John 17.1-11…
This passage is infused with the language of gift. In just eleven verses there are eleven instances of didómi, the infinitive of the verb ‘to give’. Imagine God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, lovingly wrapping you up as a gift and giving you to Jesus to open. As Jesus unwraps you, there is wonder and delight on his face. How much have you allowed Jesus to unwrap you and how much are you still clinging to the paper?
May
Read: Chapters 2 and 3 on Sacred Stories and Formation
Suggestions to mull over while reading:
- What stories do you have that sum up your current spiritual beliefs and values?
- Listen to your inner voice as you go about your day. What stories does it tell you? How have these been forming you?
- What practical steps can we take in order to slow down our expectations for the spiritual life? How can we make peace with the idea that truly becoming a spiritual or holy person takes time?
Structure
Gathering prayer-poem
A short reflection in the large group on the questions: What did you make of these two chapters? What struck you, challenged, helped you?
Break-out groups for sharing on the questions relating to the stories we tell ourselves:
- Listen to your inner voice as you go about your day. What stories does it tell you? How have these been forming you?
- What stories do you have that sum up your current spiritual beliefs and values?
Return to the large group to consider the practicalities: What practical steps can we take in order to slow down our expectations for the spiritual life? How can we make peace with the idea that truly becoming a spiritual or holy person takes time?
15-minute guided meditation on ‘An Everyday God’ in the potter’s workshop, written for and used in a previous Slow Book Group.
Closing prayer and Grace
Follow-up material
Opening prayer-poem, Gilbert of Hoyland from The Way of Simplicity by Esther de Waal:
Give your command, Good Jesus;
dispatch the south wind from heaven
and conduct it into your garden,
into the soul of your beloved.
By this gentle breeze dispel boredom,
dispel sadness from her feelings, from his feelings,
for each is a misery
and each resembles the north wind;
each fetters the mind, as it were,
and bars access
to the current of pure joy.
Tiffany Shlain has written about taking a Sabbath from technology, and has been interviewed on the On Being podcast:
I wrote about walking the labyrinth for the Cathedral monthly news.
There’s lots on my website here about Lectio. Here is a leaflet to download (pdf) with some more guidance on the process and a couple of pieces of scripture as examples to use.
I’ve also written about pilgrimage, when the intention I set at the beginning might be to be conscious of walking with others: “I find it heartening to be alongside other people, all facing and travelling in the same direction for a period of time, an experience I have also had on Iona and the Camino to Santiago.”
June
Read: Chapters 4 and 5 on Humility and Hospitality
Suggestions to mull over while reading:
- Think of someone you know who you consider to be humble. How do they embody the qualities presented in italics in Chapter 4 – authentic, self-forgetful, ordinary, etc?
- Why do you think our society tends to resist humility?
- What actions could you take to cultivate a richer spirit of hospitality and welcoming (however you would like to interpret these) in your life?
Structure
Gathering prayer
In the large group, or breakout groups depending on numbers, we spent about 40 minutes on the questions listed above.
Guided meditation in the large group, a Lectio Divina reading on Giving and receiving hospitality – Mary anoints Jesus, John 12.1-8.
Closing prayer and the Grace
Follow-up material
Opening prayer-poem, Guerric of Igny from The Way of Simplicity by Esther de Waal:
O Lord Jesus,
true gardener,
work in us what you want of us,
for without you we can do nothing.
For you are indeed the true gardener,
at once the maker and tiller and keeper of your garden,
you who plant with the word,
water with the spirit
and give your increase with your power.
Closing prayer-poem, Isaac of Stella from The Way of Simplicity by Esther de Waal:
He himself is my meditation;
he is my delight;
him for his own sake I seek above me;
from him himself I feed within me.
He is the field in which I labour;
he is the fruit for which I labour.
He is my cause;
he is my effect.
He is my beginning;
he is my end without end.
He is for eternity.
July
Read: Chapters 6,7 on Compassion & Community and Prayer & Liturgy
Suggestions to mull over as you are reading:
- What are the various communities that have shaped your life – family, church, neighbourhood, etc – and how have they been used by God to help you grow in love?
- What if any prayers do you say on a regular or daily basis – grace before meals, Jesus Prayer, Rosary, etc – and how does it feel to use these ‘routine’ prayers?
- What could help you become more aware of God, even in the most mundane moments of your day?
Structure
Gathering prayer-poem
Large group, focusing on the question: What are the various communities that have shaped your life, and how have they helped you to grow in love?
Break-out groups, sharing at depth on the regular routines of prayer and how to become more aware of God in mundane moments of the day.
15-minute guided meditation imagining our way into the story of Zaccheus, Luke 19.1-10.
Closing prayer and Grace
Follow-up material
We suggested that the group take one of the Spiritual Practices outlined my McColman and try it for size during August.
Opening prayer-poem, part of my poem “Tymawr Chapel speaks”:
At five o’clock
the Chapel bell is rung
to call the community to Evening Prayer.
Thirty-three times,
the years of our Lord’s days.Above the altar
the Crucified One listens closely
as the final stroke sounds
and fades away,
is silent and lingers.
To close, the Collect for St Benedict, 11 July:
Eternal God, who made Benedict a wise master in the school of your service and a guide to many called into community to follow the rule of Christ: grant that we may put your love before all else and seek with joy the way of your commandments; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
From the Prologue to the Rule of St Benedict – “Begin everything you attempt with the earnest prayer that it will be brought to perfection.”
Book recommendation – “The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy and ‘Women’s Work’ “ by Kathleen Norris.
I wrote a couple of related articles for the Cathedral magazine:
There are ideas and resources for daily prayer on the Cathedral’s website. For example, there is a CofE Daily Office app, and the services are online.
September
Read: Chapters 8,9 on Contemplation and Conversion of Life
Suggestions to mull over as you are reading:
- When and where is it easier for you to be silent, and how might you find or create more silence in your life?
- Ref John Ruusbroec “You are as holy as you want to be”, how holy do you want to be and what might holiness look like in your life?
- What could you do to make a serious commitment to God and to living a holy life?
Structure
Gathering prayer-poem, and a chance to comment on the suggestion to try one of the Spiritual Practices during August.
Large group, sharing on experiences of silence, and how to find or create more in our lives.
Stay in the large group or break into smaller groups, depending on the numbers, to reflect on the John Ruusbroec quote. How holy do we want to be? What might that look like? How might we make commitments to God and living a holy life?
Guided meditation, first giving an introduction to Centring Prayer as a way into interior silence and encounter with God, then 10 minutes of practice.
Closing prayer and Grace
Follow-up material
Opening prayer from Prayers of Love and Faith:
O Holy Spirit.
Giver of light and life,
impart to us thoughts higher than our own thoughts,
and prayers better than our own prayers,
and powers beyond our own powers,
that we may spend and be spent
in the ways of love and goodness,
after the perfect image
of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Amen.
There are many online guides through a body scan. This one is very short, and here is an interview about trying one out.
You can sign up to the Center for Action and Contemplation’s newsletter on for notification of future series of their virtual ‘Contemplative Sit’. Here is some information about what to expect.
It’s worth exploring their website for other resources: daily meditations by email, podcasts, or examples of contemplative practices.
The parable of the wind and the sun illustrates persuasive vs coercive authority.
In the Eucharist, we pray together after communion: “Almighty God, we thank you for feeding us with the body and blood of your Son Jesus Christ. Through him we offer you our souls and bodies to be a living sacrifice. Send us out in the power of your Spirit to live and work to your praise and glory. Amen.”
So something to ponder: being holy in the context of community
October
Read: Chapters 10,11 on Stability and Perseverance, and A Final Word
Suggestions to mull over as you are reading:
- What does stability mean to you, and how might you find it in an uncertain world?
- What have you learnt over the years about how you keep on keeping on?
- At the end of Chapter 11, McColman list five questions that the reader could use to start to craft a Rule of Life. The Cathedral has a Rule of Life (pdf) that community members are invited to follow. We suggest you either reflect on one of the questions or read and reflect on the Cathedral Rule.
Structure
Gathering prayer
Break-out groups considering the questions on finding stability in an uncertain world, and how to keep on keeping on. Then we reflected on following a rule of life.
15-minute guided meditation, imagining being part of the crowd listening to Jesus, and hearing his invitation “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” from Matthew 11.28-30.
Large group, each sharing our Final Word on the book.
Closing prayer, three minutes of silence and the final blessing from A Final Word: “Many blessings to you on your journey. May you persevere with gladness and joy.”
Follow-up material
Opening prayer, from Psalm 62 in theInclusive Language Liturgical Psalter of the Anglican Church of Canada:
5 For God alone my soul in silence waits; ♦
truly, my hope is in God.
6 God alone is my rock and my salvation, ♦
my stronghold, so that I shall not be shaken.
7 In God is my safety and my honour, ♦
my strong rock and my refuge.
8 Put your trust in God always, O people, ♦
pour out your hearts before the One who is your refuge.
To close, “The Womb of Silence” by John Main:
Be still.
Stay here.Don’t run away.
Be quiet.
Be centered.
Be calm.Be in this moment,
In this place,
With the ground beneath your feet,
And the air around you.In the silence,
Feel the presence of God.
In the stillness,
Know the embrace of the divine.Allow yourself to rest,
To be,
To receive.From the womb of silence,
New life will be born.
In the quiet,
Love will grow.Wait patiently.
Stay present.
Be open.For in the silence,
God is with us.
If anyone is interested in forming a link to a religious community, you can find the Anglican Religious Life Yearbook, listing all orders and communities.
More examples of rules of life:
- Download the Cathedral Rule (pdf)
- One of the many translations of the Rule of St Benedict (pdf)
- The Nazareth Community, which emerged from St Martin-in-the-Fields in London, follows a rule of 7Ss
- The Iona Community Rule is very simple
- The Quakers have a small booklet of Advices and Queries that guide their faith and practice