“Selling my soul for a low GI roll”

In May I got the Lidl app
and paid my data as the toll.
Fell into the marketing trap—
selling my soul for a low GI roll.

A voucher when I spend some dough!
One bake for free and save a bob!
I choose the most expensive though—
selling my soul for a low GI cob.

Cheers for the fruit-y roulette wheel
but 50p off some processed crap?
Can’t say I’ll ever use that deal—
just selling my soul for a low GI bap.

3 for 2 on something sweet!
Spend more to get some money off?
No thanks! I’ll save for what’s next week
and sell my soul for a low GI loaf.

A partner deal for pampered pets?!
Free Lynx if I score a penalty goal?!
So they can’t have used my data yet—
selling my soul for a low GI roll.

Clare Bryden “Selling my soul for a low GI roll”, ionosphere, Volume 2 Issue 2, 7 July 2025.